3. Reflecting and clarifying


     Reflecting is the process of feeding back to another person your understanding of what has been said.

     Reflecting is a specialised skill often used within counselling, but it can also be applied to a wide range of communication contexts and is a useful skill to learn.

     Reflecting often involves paraphrasing the message communicated to you by the speaker in your own words. You need to try to capture the essence of the facts and expressed feelings and communicate your understanding back to the speaker. It is a useful skill because:

  • You can check that you have understood the message clearly.
  • The speaker gets feedback about how the message has been received and can then clarify or expand if they wish.
  • It shows interest in, and respect for, what the other person has to say.
  • You are demonstrating that you are considering the other person’s viewpoint.